Numb.

I’ve started to become numb to you.

I’ve lost the part of myself that had a connection to you and I don’t know how to find it anymore.It feels stupid because I’m trying too hard.

Being loved

by you was nothing I ever really felt and I wish that I had asked you what it meant , when you said that you loved me.

I’ve not been jealous when we’re around friends and you put your arm around other girls, or when you told me that you were drunk and kissed someone else. I was just confused because I thought love was something else. But your fascination for me, I never saw it. Maybe you only want to good side of me, but then you’ve never really seen the bad. Because I don’t want to lose myself in someone else. Not in you. You

Because of you and me, it’s neither official nor unofficial. It was just a try and I don’t ever want to forget those moments. Holding your hand and feeling my heart glow up, waking up beside you, the smell of your bed. How nervous I was.

But you want too much too soon. I don’t feel enough. I feel like I’m a disappointment. And in all this trying to restabilize myself I’m losing you.

You’re not the person I really want. You aren’t calm as I wish someone to be, you aren’t emotionally intelligent and deep as I wish someone to be, you aren’t who I want you to be and I think it’s only fair, to be honest with myself about that. I can’t be the person I like when I’m around you.

You have the idea of me as a wonderful girlfriend. Someone to love you and be there for you , to kiss and cuddle and show around , to trust.

I never thought I had high expectations but maybe I do.

Breathing is easier when you’re not around.