Like seriously everything these days: This is the end, but this is also the beginning !! But while you figure out how to move on and deal with your life we’ll just let you be, welcome to your life.
I have 8 days left. 8 days, 2 exams and two projects. I have to plan for my vacation next week and my future. Now, please. How am I supposed to do this?
Yesterday was my 18th birthday. It was not what I expected to be. It was lovely, we had decorated the garage beautifully, we had great food, wonderful loving friends were our guests. We ate cake, went on a walk, took pictures, and I got amazing gifts …
…but my absolute favourite thing was the back and stomach pain, as well as crippling nausea that started at about 7 o’clock, which had me crying with pain on the living room sofa by 9 because I couldn’t suppress the pain anymore.
And as dramatic as this sounds, I can’t remember the last time I was hurting so bad. So there I was, on my 18th birthday, stuffed with painkillers. Am I mad? Disappointed ?
To be honest with you, a little. I had been so excited for this day, it was all working out so well. This should ‚ve been the day filled with laughter, I should have been enjoying my time, I should have been happy and dancing.
I’m not really mad. I’m trying to get over this. Because I was reminded how great my mum is. How she took care of me and didn’t make me feel bad because I had to leave my guests. She read stories of my childhood to me to distract me while I was crying.
I was glad that my friends stayed, even though I wasn’t with them anymore.
Now here I am, recovering, trying to take it slow, wishing I would be studying right now, but also knowing that I need to take a break.
If there’s some strength you can send me, please do.
All my love, J.