Unapologetically me

They say self-awareness is the first step , so that’s what I’m doing .

Unapologetically me . That’s what is me , without excuses , without big explanations. That’s the way I act , the way I feel and the way I see the world just because I am me .

Unapologetically me , that’s me getting jealous . That is me getting a tight feeling in my chest wishing that other person would be me , sometimes even doubting myself and criticising my own abilities to create . Jealousy that inspires me to get better and create something beautiful I love . And even if that jealousy makes me feel worthless from time to time , it passes and leaves me with admiration and usually also affection .

Unapologetically me , that’s me being nervous and insecure wishing I was the opposite . Me being a perfectionist in certain situations in life  has me overthinking and over checking in the fear of failing .Because unapologetically me as I am , I can’t listen to a random song if it doesn’t fit my mood , I can’t watch a random movie in  fear I might not like it and waste my time . ( I just looked into 7 movies and it’s frustrating)

Unapologetically me , I have found out more and less when I can’t handle something and prioritise myself to ensure my well-being but I also keep holding on to friendships , where the absolute absence of that person would contribute more to my happiness than their presence. But that’s just me , and as hard as I try to let go , I will always be the one to call first , to apologise and to start the conversation after a fight.

Unapologetically me as I am I always try to see  the good side in people and the positive outcome of a bad situation  when others have already given up . And it really made me stop complaining , and made me aware of how exhausting it can be , to always complain.

Unapologetically me , I stick with my principles and my priorities . Unapologetically me,I won’t be ashamed of something I did out of love a few years ago  , even if I wouldn’t act the same way today . I will stand up for what is right in my eyes in front of people that won’t even care or listen , but I still do it , and I will keep confronting people with injustice they do .

Unapologetically me , I try, to be honest before being almost everything else . Honesty , truth , clearness and I have come a long way together . Especially in relationships and friendships, it is one of my most valued achievements I would say and I hope that I will always hold on  to that .

Unapologetically me , that’s wanting to know exactly what people thing about me , but only from those who matter , it’s me learning not to give a heck about things and people that aren’t worth worrying about ( I said learning !! ) , it’s me freaking out deep inside about talking in front of the class until it’s done , and it’s me making life plans with my best friend , sitting in a blanket fort , at 8 am eating chocolate pancakes.

Now I am off to being me , and I will leave you with a dramatic but very basic quote so we can all start well into the day .

Never regret anything you do , because in the end , it makes you who you are .

 

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My concert experiences + music recommendations

Hello everybody !  I am currently sitting inside a comfortable blanket fort on a Saturday and in this post, I would like to share my few concert experiences with you .

Now I haven’t exactly been to many concerts , but the one’s I went to have definitely impacted my life in many ways .

Basically, I have been to two types of concerts . 3 years in a row I have been to the concert of an international boy group . I know what you think . Screaming teenage girls that can’t stop crying . Exactly . But there was also another side to it .

These three days in 2013 , 2014 and 2015 have possibly been some of my happiest and most grateful days on this planet , dramatic right ? At this time , this band and their music simply meant everything to me , and even though I have altered from this obsession , I remember it clear as day that for 2 years they impacted my life in almost every aspect . And they made me incredibly happy .

Going to these concerts was so incredible not only because of the band . Of course, they were incredible . It feels so weird to see someone live when for the longest time you’ve seen them on nothing but computer screens . But what hit me the most was the energy of the crowd , and that is what made me fall in love with concerts in the first place.

One moment I remember is when , on my first concert ever in Munich, we were all waiting inside the hall and after the intro the lights suddenly dropped and everybody started screaming . Even today when thinking of it , I get goosebumps. I probably cried through the whole concert and screamed instead of singing the songs , and my ears were hurting afterwards , but it was amazing anyways .

The second concert was in Bern , Switzerland. It was very special . Maybe because I was a year older and more mature and I enjoyed every second of it. My dad drove us to every concert which was incredible and it took us six hours to get there. We had sitting tickets and arrived just before the pre-band started to play. At this point it was very hot , the sun out and everybody was sweating like crazy , nobody had probably thought that on the very same evening there would have been a thunderstorm . And when it started , we were glad to be sitting /standing under the roof .

The third concert was the first concert where I was in the open area where you were standing . It was very exhausting , we had to wait 2 hours before going in , and then wait another two hours until the concert started . It was hard , but it was more than worth it . I remember being so happy that day , happier than I had been in such a long time  and that is what made it so special in the end

Music plays such an important role in my life . I listen to a lot of different singers and bands , regardless of their theme or genre . Music catches my emotions , it makes me feel relaxed , free , careless and most of all it  helps me deal with stress .

Last night  , there was the 15th Irish Folk nights festival . It is a festival hosted by the sports club from the tiny village of 2000 people I live in . 3 Irish bands played and for 4 hours I danced and clapped along .

In the beginning, I helped in the kitchen and waited for my friend to arrive . Every year I’m there for one night , every year I fall in love with the irish dance music for one night and dream about going to Ireland . I fall in love when teh music starts picking up , the violin solos and the whiskey songs . Even though I don’t like guiness.

So that’s it for today . Now I will watch a documentary and get some work done .

Have a wonderful day !

NEW spring room decor|| minimalistic

Hello everybody ,

before I start the new week tomorrow , I would like to show you how I changed some items and  decor  in my room very spontaneously .

I’m currently working towards making my room more minimalistic and simple as I tend to pile up unnecessary things on my desk and cupboards , and having clear surfaces and a very simple structure has come to make me feel very comfortable and calm .

Part | : My desk

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My desk it primarily my working space . It’s where I draw , study and do my homework . What I have loved about this table since I got it it the very big flat surface as I always had smaller ones before . This leaves me with lots of space for my tools . On the left side, I keep all my working essentials

On the left side, I keep all my working essentials in a box . Like my calculator , a few books , pencils , rulers and so on . Everything else changes from time to time.

 

Part || : My bed

Now let’s come to the last part I changed in my room and by far my favorite place in my room , if not on earth : my bed .

I found these wonderful fairy lights and put them on my wall . On the surface next to my bed I placed some items like candles , crystals, and plants , and I finally found a place for my tiny succulent garden on my nightstand .

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But the whole magic begins only when it slowly turns dark outside and the fairy lights make the walls look warm and open up the whole room.

I am so in love with it , it’s the perfect place to relax and how I currently am : sipping hot mango tea and rewatching the second season of „dance academy“.

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My room always reflects the way I feel , or what I aspire to feel like . In this case, it is relaxing and calm on the one side , concentrated and structured on the other one .

I hope you have a great day and a good start into the new week .

shoes to survive the apocalypse

Hey there !

Considering the upcoming post it sounds pretty hypocritical to say that I almost never buy any clothes and that I actually hate it a lot , but we all have exceptions in our behavior and we all grow from time to time .

My mom decided for me, that I couldn’t wear my old trusty boots anymore , I had them for 2 years now and they were pretty damaged as they were the only pair I had ( except for trainers) .

So now I got some new boots . And damn , I love them .

 

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The first boots are from bonprix.de . Originally I bought them to wear with my confirmation dress ( my brothers confirmation ) but I will probably wear them daily or sometimes , because I don’t buy shoes just for one time .

They are of course cruelty-free and made of fake leather !

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The second shoes are these plateau (?) boots . I could probably buy every single pair of black boots , heeled or not . They make me feel so fierce and badass.

These are to wear every day and they are cruelty free too !

At the beginning they were a little stiff and hurt a little bit around my ankles but now that I wore them around the house for a bit they feel much better !

I got these from h&m !

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And sometimes when I wear these boots , I feel like I could survive an apocalypse , but then I remember that my cardio sucks , and I would probably die after 20 minutes of running .

These shoes are also an example to show that there is no need to use the skin of animals to get some badass shoes . It is therefore effortless to reduce the suffering of animals .

Have a badass day and kick some ass !

X , Janina