If you ask me , Id say I have dealt with multiple mental health problems during the course of my life . Self harm , anorexia , anxiety and depression. The four classics perhaps. But have I really?
I’ve become pretty good at self diagnosing , thanks to the internet that fulfills its role to satisfy my ever-growing need for an explanation on why I act the way I act. It’s like there’s this strong urge to find a way to fix myself , because in my opinion I’m not normal , I’m different , but how do I know if everybody feels that way ?
I’ve read through the symptoms of anxiety and depression a million times. I guess its pretty easy to nail down knowing when you have an eating disorder and act on self destructive because you have direct „physical evidence“ if that makes sense .
But for anxiety and depression it’s different.
I don’t want to talk about these illnesses like I’m choosing from a menu at a restaurant. But the topic has been on my mind for so many years that I can’t help but treat it like the ordinary.
I don’t know what to think about self diagnosing even thought I think about it all the time.
I got jealous when my best friend was diagnosed with depression.
I feel like I have been dealing with this on my own for so long , even though I go to therapy , even though I have great friends that support me. There’s something missing and I can’t figure out what it is.