Happiest in the sun

heliophilia : the desire to stay in the sun , the love of sunlight .

Hello everybody ,

do you miss sun as much as I do ? Because there is almost nothing I would love more right now than to breath in the warm summer air and feel the golden sunlight on my skin.

And when I am honest , I have to admit that I am currently in a really dark place . Another depressive episode is making life grey and hard. It feels like it doesn’t even really get light outside anymore , and I hate waking up in the morning with the world being pitch black . Neither do I seem to find comfort in the fact that it gets lighter everyday .

Once again , I feel desperate and lost , as if none of my efforts to lead a happy life will every work out and let me achieve anything . As you see , I just feel sad for literally no reason .

Another thing making life hard for me is my bad body image which is extremely bad these days , yet it was so good a month ago . I have started to count my calories again and it is getting harder again to eat . I feel like starving myself again  , because I can’t look at myself and think : wow I am fat .

I know it is probably just my past eating disorder talking but I can’t get to abandon that voice inside my head.

On the other hand I am trying to identify my panic attack triggers . I am in no way diagnosed by a doctor to have a panic disorder but I don’t really care . All I know is that I get them and I just really wish I didn’t . They seem to be connected to stress , to hydration and pressure for me , but also to a few triggers .

One of them is clothes . My hips are my biggest insecurities as they are quite a lot wider than my waist and thighs . Pants are a big issue because hen they are a little too tight I get the feeling of being terribly overweight .

Looking into mirrors is very two sided . I like what I see and I am okay with it , because I look a little toned or slim from an angle , or I see too much fat and feel bad about it .

I am constantly torn between trying to love myself the way I am , working out because I want to be strong , treating myself from time to time and feeling bad , hating my body and everything . I want to like myself . In bad angles , bloated and true . I want to change my expectations and perception of beauty .

As always , there are good days and there are bad days , but I can’t see in which direction forwards or backwards I am moving over time .

Last year around this time I felt the same way , and I made a list . A list about why life will get better . The circumstances were about the same . I will read this list later and hopefully feel a little better .

If you have been in a similar situation , please share your experience and maybe some tips if that is alright with you , because I am pretty lost right now .

Any ways , I hope you feel good and comfortable today and always .

Have a wonderful day




What I eat in a week // Food and workout log

Hello loves ,

for this week  I though it would be nice and interesting to note down all of the things I eat /ate this week and also what work-outs I did .This is just to give you and also me a better look on how I manage nutrition and sports during the busy school week . Ready ? Let’s go !

Monday :

BREAKFAST : 8:45  Raspberry -banana iced smoothie bowl . Just blend a cup of almond milk with frozen raspberries and bananas and sprinkle some granola on top 🙂

SNACK 1 : 11:30 Pretzel bun and detox water over the day .

LUNCH :   13:30 cous-cous salad with pizza flavored wraps smothered with hummus

SNACK 2 : 17:30  1 peeled mango with a small handful of raisins + raw vegan chocolate bite

DINNER  : 18:45 bowl of noodles with tomato sauce with cooked zuccini .

Workout of the day : 50 minute HIIT Cardio and core workout by fitnessblender .


Note : Oh my , today was such a long and busy day but I am very proud of eating healthy all day and absolutely killing my workout . Today I was at school from 9 am to 5 pm , and watched some JANE THE VIRGIN ( one and only love ) . Now after working out I still have to go through my french vocabulary again and read something for gender class , but I am perfectly on time . emoji OTD :  ✊


Tuesday :

BREAKFAST : 6:30  Oatmeal with almond milk , maple syrup and frozen berries

SNACK : 11:30 2 bananas and 1 oat-blueberry bar

LUNCH :   13:30 cous-cous salad with pizza flavored wraps smothered with hummus

SNACK 2 : 16:00 2 potatoes

DINNER : 19:00 Rosemary flavored potatoes with spinach and hot sauce , For dessert raw vegan chocolate bite !

WORKOUT of the day : 40 minute Upper body strength training 


Note : Workout yet to be done . Long but interesting day at school until 4 , wasted my time , did homework , cleaned up my room , had dinner . now I will workout and learn french vocab for the test tomorrow . Wish me luck xx emoji OTD : 🏻 👐



BREAKFAST : Oatmeal with apples and maple syrup .

SNACK : 1 Banana

LUNCH :   13:30 cous-cous salad with pizza flavored wraps smothered with hummus

SNACK : purple potato chips

DINNER : lentilsoup and two plates of pie and two cookies, consider CHEAT DAY done .

WORKOUT of the day : PE class ( volleyball and pilates )


NOTES : wow I feel very stuffed with food . School was okay , the „workout“ was alright but not too challenging . And apparently a friend of mine is having problems so I made her chocolate chip cookies and we will talk tonight, while I am babysitting and I still  need to do maths homework . Yes life is busy right now , but I will be okay 🙂



BREAKFAST : Semolina porridge with banana , pomegranate seeds and maple syrup.

LUNCH: Bread with butter and vegetable soup .

DINNER : chopped up apple and bell pepper , bread bun with salsa sauce

Workout of the day : 50 minute HIIT and legs/butt 



BREAKFAST : chocolate oatmeal with maple syrup and pomegranate seeds .

LUNCH : Moroccan burger patties with microwaved sweet potato , with broccoli and carrot , topped with tahini sauce .

DINNER : chocolate banana oatmeal , yes .

SNACK : chocolate chip cookie ❤


Alright that was fun ! See my diet isn’t perfect but I’m trying here .

Have a wonderful day











3 easy vegan breakfasts – BACK TO BASICS

Hello fruitsbats ,

as you know they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day . Creativity wise , that is true because mornings tend to be my most creative time of the day .

So whether you are a vegetarian , vegan or you just like healthy eating and switching things up once in a while , these super simple meals , done in no time will hopefully inspire you !

Keep in mind that these are very basic and can be changed up and substituted completely if you’d like to ! Now have fun and I hope you enjoy these …



Breakfast No 1 : Semolina porridge

What you need : 40 gramms of semolina                                                                                                               200 ml of milk                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ( optional : handful of raisins , 1 tbsp of maple syrup , banana and                                           pommegranate seeds , really any fruit you want )

Instructions : Bring the milk to boil in a pot and carefully add in the semolina , continuously stirring it with a whisk for 30 seconds . Then put it off the stove and let it sit for a minute . Last step is to transfer it into a bowl and decorate it .

Health fact : Semolina is an excellent source of iron , improves your cardiovascular healht and helps you feel full longer as it digest very slowly which prevents you from overeating .



Breakfast No.2 : Banana Ice cream

This breakfast is perfect on a hot summer morning , when all you want to do is carb the heck up and get your energy levels straight up .

Ingredients : As many bananas as you want , frozen fruit or even greens

Instructions : Chop up your bananas and freeze them for at least 4 hours . Put them in a food processor / blender and mix all the ingredients together . Voilà !

Tip : if plain fruit isn’t enough for you, add some oats for example or in general ,just get creative with it and adjust to your level of perfection 😉




Breakfast No.3 : Rainbow oats with chocolate mousse

Ingredients : 50 or more gramms of oats , non dairy milk , cocoa powder , maple syrup and fruit

Instructions : Bring your milk to boil and add your oats , stirring until you have a creamy texture ( you can also use water instead of milk ) . Transfer into a bowl . Chop up your fruit and put that on top . In a small cup add 2 tbsp of cocoa powder and maple syrup until you end up with a mousse like texture .Add this on top of your fruit and there you have an instagram worthy breakfast .


Note ; Be sure to go crazy on these and create your own combinations and creations . Here are some more examples if you’d like :



Have a wonderful day !


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21 little things to make the world a better place .

Hello loves ,

just a few days ago a friend of mine showed me a list , a teacher had handed out to the students of her class . On this list there were written about 100 things to make this world a better place . This really got me thinking about what I can or could do in my everyday life to ameliorate the world just a tiny bit .

I’m still a student , I still live at home , but still there are lots of possibilities you just need to start looking for them . Here is a small list of things we can do :

  1. Don’t let your life be defined by living in comfort .
  2. Always unplug your chargers !
  3. Walk around with your eyes open and don’t hide behind a phone screen .
  4. Donate old clothes to charity , don’t throw them away !
  5. Take the train instead of your car .
  6. Compliment people randomly .
  7. Eat less meat and dairy , it helps the environment .
  8. Go and visit the nearest animal shelter , go on a walk with a dog , cuddle some cats !
  9. If you can, donate blood .
  10. Support cruelty free makeup and clothing brands .
  11. Buy flowers for people who are stressed on their birthday .
  12. Don’t buy crap , make your investments more valuable.
  13. Books make great gifts and so do cakes .
  14. Embrace diversity of culture and religion .
  15. Say thank you and welcome more often , always be polite .
  16. And more important : Be kind .
  17. Don’t judge people by their personality .
  18. Limit plastic waste, take the tote bag .
  19. Turn the god damn light off , and close the door to save heat .
  20. Don’t judge people by their faith nor their appearance .
  21. Eat more organic vegetables .

As Gandhi said : Be the change you wish to see . And remember that even the smallest things count !

Have a wonderful Friday