Getting my life together ( once again)

Maybe it’s because I went for a run , or because the weather was so particularly nice today , but my head is just  filled with creative energy and ideas today and I felt wonderful .

I got up , cuddled with my cat , went for a 20-minute run , had some breakfast , then cleaned my room and worked on my essay , had lunch , watched two documentaries , did yoga in the sun and had a wonderful dinner. Yet I know that not every day can be as flawless as this one , especially with school starting again in a few days and I will be stressed as always. Yet because I always strive to ameliorate my life and I love to try out new things  I have collected a few ideas that I want to incorporate in my daily life .

1.Start doing a quick yoga flow in the morning right after I wake up instead of going on my phone for 10 minutes . I already do yoga a few times a week but after reading how beneficial it can be to your health , from a better self-image  to reduced anxiety and stress, to bone and heart protection to increased flexibility , I really want to do it everyday even just for 10 minutes to kickstart my day.

2. Watch more documentaries . I love learning new things , especially about history and I keep forgetting how many great free documentaries are available to on youtube and also Netflix.  I want to expand my knowledge in a lot of directions and documentaries and movies are one of the most enjoyable ways I imagine. So I plan on ( if I find some time) watch a few documentaries per week .

3. Work on my posture and my confidence . That starts with standing up straight and talking loud and clear and if necessary doing power poses in front of the mirror from time to time. The way we talk and present ourselves has such a great impact on our lives and I’ll try my best to feel more confident and  strong in my body.

4. Meditate every night before bed for a few minutes again for health benefits and becoming more conscious of my body. I often tend to lay awake with negative thoughts at night and maybe it helps to meditate .

5. Increase my water intake . Even though I know how important it is to drink lots of water I rarely do it , so I just have to push through and do it . Tea would also be a grea alternative , because of it’s wonderful benefits.

So that is the plan starting from today on , because I am not a „starting on Monday “ kind of person at all.

What do you do to make your day a little bit better ?



Positivity and conversations

Hello loves ,

I hope you are all well . After being very creative and drawing all day I thought that if I wasn’t studying I could at least write a new blog post to be more productive !

So today topic will be conversations and positivity , or the impact of positivity on conversations or „how to make a conversation easier and more successful “

As I grow older , conversation gets more and more important with every passing day . In school we are supposed to speak up to speak precisely and clear , but we are always expected to know what to say . Our parents expect us to take responsibility , and responsibility is linked close to the words we choose to use .

When I was younger I used to be very shy , and I really didn’t speak a lot , I only opened up to  people I was very close to and until today I am very introverted and like to handle things on my own . Only a few months ago I feel like I started to talk more and be more chatty for what reasons I can’t identify .

Now let’s get to the core of this post , I have a few ground rules when it comes to conversation.

rule number one : Don’t start a conversation to simply talk , listening is just as important.

I always think like this : everybody you meet knows something , and most of the people have a story worth listening to. Even if you are simply doing small talk , listen and if you aren’t really good at talking , concentrate on the other person ( something I learned from Anna Akana  is to ask lots of questions and let them do the talking until things get rolling )


rule number two : Mind the perspective .

What looks easy as heck for you might be hell for the next person and the other way around . So try your best to be respectful in every kind of way . Don’t force your words and information on others , you know the signs when people don’t want to talk anymore , or on the other side want to talk more .


rule number three : positivity is key . words have weight .

Ever wondered why it’s so hard to listen to certain people ? For me it’s the constant drain of negativity they are spreading , people who are always complaining  who are always hating and gossiping . How to avoid things like that ? Listen to yourself and choose your words carefully . For example : you can say “ oh my god this weather is so stupid , I hate it so much “ or you could say : “ I absolutely can’t wait for the weather to get better again , because I love to feel the sun and the warm weather “ . It’s really just little things like that , which make daily conversation so much more comfortable in my opinion , but of course from time to time you just got to rant and let it all out , that’s totally normal right ?


After finding the right people  , I fell in love with conversations . My favorite conversations are those late at night when all you do is lay in bed next to each other and dream out loud. Conversations where you find a balance so naturally and it kind of just flows . I once had a talk with my a friend where we just sat on a tree for hours and talked about our past , switching from topic to topic so flawlessly . And another talk when we sat on the dead street on a warm summer and talked about the future .

when you talk to the right people , you probably don’t even have to think about these rules , and time will pass like so quickly you won’t notice the hours going by .

conversations like this will stick to your mind and I hope you will experience them sooner or later . Love  , Janina .


Happiest in the sun

heliophilia : the desire to stay in the sun , the love of sunlight .

Hello everybody ,

do you miss sun as much as I do ? Because there is almost nothing I would love more right now than to breath in the warm summer air and feel the golden sunlight on my skin.

And when I am honest , I have to admit that I am currently in a really dark place . Another depressive episode is making life grey and hard. It feels like it doesn’t even really get light outside anymore , and I hate waking up in the morning with the world being pitch black . Neither do I seem to find comfort in the fact that it gets lighter everyday .

Once again , I feel desperate and lost , as if none of my efforts to lead a happy life will every work out and let me achieve anything . As you see , I just feel sad for literally no reason .

Another thing making life hard for me is my bad body image which is extremely bad these days , yet it was so good a month ago . I have started to count my calories again and it is getting harder again to eat . I feel like starving myself again  , because I can’t look at myself and think : wow I am fat .

I know it is probably just my past eating disorder talking but I can’t get to abandon that voice inside my head.

On the other hand I am trying to identify my panic attack triggers . I am in no way diagnosed by a doctor to have a panic disorder but I don’t really care . All I know is that I get them and I just really wish I didn’t . They seem to be connected to stress , to hydration and pressure for me , but also to a few triggers .

One of them is clothes . My hips are my biggest insecurities as they are quite a lot wider than my waist and thighs . Pants are a big issue because hen they are a little too tight I get the feeling of being terribly overweight .

Looking into mirrors is very two sided . I like what I see and I am okay with it , because I look a little toned or slim from an angle , or I see too much fat and feel bad about it .

I am constantly torn between trying to love myself the way I am , working out because I want to be strong , treating myself from time to time and feeling bad , hating my body and everything . I want to like myself . In bad angles , bloated and true . I want to change my expectations and perception of beauty .

As always , there are good days and there are bad days , but I can’t see in which direction forwards or backwards I am moving over time .

Last year around this time I felt the same way , and I made a list . A list about why life will get better . The circumstances were about the same . I will read this list later and hopefully feel a little better .

If you have been in a similar situation , please share your experience and maybe some tips if that is alright with you , because I am pretty lost right now .

Any ways , I hope you feel good and comfortable today and always .

Have a wonderful day



21 little things to make the world a better place .

Hello loves ,

just a few days ago a friend of mine showed me a list , a teacher had handed out to the students of her class . On this list there were written about 100 things to make this world a better place . This really got me thinking about what I can or could do in my everyday life to ameliorate the world just a tiny bit .

I’m still a student , I still live at home , but still there are lots of possibilities you just need to start looking for them . Here is a small list of things we can do :

  1. Don’t let your life be defined by living in comfort .
  2. Always unplug your chargers !
  3. Walk around with your eyes open and don’t hide behind a phone screen .
  4. Donate old clothes to charity , don’t throw them away !
  5. Take the train instead of your car .
  6. Compliment people randomly .
  7. Eat less meat and dairy , it helps the environment .
  8. Go and visit the nearest animal shelter , go on a walk with a dog , cuddle some cats !
  9. If you can, donate blood .
  10. Support cruelty free makeup and clothing brands .
  11. Buy flowers for people who are stressed on their birthday .
  12. Don’t buy crap , make your investments more valuable.
  13. Books make great gifts and so do cakes .
  14. Embrace diversity of culture and religion .
  15. Say thank you and welcome more often , always be polite .
  16. And more important : Be kind .
  17. Don’t judge people by their personality .
  18. Limit plastic waste, take the tote bag .
  19. Turn the god damn light off , and close the door to save heat .
  20. Don’t judge people by their faith nor their appearance .
  21. Eat more organic vegetables .

As Gandhi said : Be the change you wish to see . And remember that even the smallest things count !

Have a wonderful Friday



Hello lonely Netflix watchers , hopeless romantic bookworms , party people and everybody else . I don’t know what you are doing or have been doing these holidays , but for me it is time to start studying for the following exams coming up next week . And I was thinking  , this is the perfect opportunity to share my latest discoveries on achieving the best grade I can get .

Now let me tell you that I am not an A-student , I suck at mathematics and science especially chemistry and physics , but I love learning new things and I think in school it shouldn’t always be about getting the best grades, well it’s nice to get good great for sure, but for me it’s about trying my hardest and giving my best and that’s what matters to me .

#1 : Find a compromise 

Find something you enjoy then link it with your studying , this is about making it a little more interesting and fun to learn things you wouldn’t normally care about . Maybe it’s color coding things , using nice planners drawing big learning posters , or maybe studying with someone ? It makes a difference in your motivation so learn trust me !


#2 : Organization is key 

This is especially for people who are anxious about exams and are really worried about school . Plans help me incredibly much to stay calm and relaxed most of the time . How do you do that ?: Gather all the information you need to know , ask friends if you are not sure if you have everything . Then divide and sort in after topics and count the days you have left to study . Last thing to do is to find an order , on some days you might do a topic that is easier because you are occupied and on others a harder one you have to concentrate on.

#3 circumstances matter 

Another thing that could make it easier for you to study is having clear learning place , maybe not your bed where you are used to not be productive . You can also try and find out when you are the most productive , I am best in the morning and the late afternoon , I’m back to lazy once it’s pitch black outside .

#4 Work out before or after you study ! 

I was surprised how good this worked for me , working out before you study really makes it more pleasant because you feel accomplished for once , and why not continue doing productive things . On the other hand working out after you study has perfect benefits to your memory and makes you remember things better . I also experienced being able to remember things better when reading through them before sleeping .

#5 grades matter but so does your health

Please remember that you being healthy and happy is more important than getting a good grade on every test or exam. So take breaks , nourish your body with the right things , drink enough water , move your body and stretch out those wrists . And try not to get caught up in jealousy , I get it , some people just get good grades no matter what but you trying is so great and you’re doing so well !


Alright that’s it , I wish you all the best for your exams and try not to stress too much even though I know I will ❤️‍

Stay safe and have fun .

Glitch in the Matrix

I am completely clueless about why I feel the way I do at the moment , it might be due to the ending year , we get caught up in the past , we get emotional when we remember all that had has taken place in the last year .

Or maybe it is because of the 2 and a half weeks I can spent away from school , far from pressure and work. I feel like I have been living in an underwater world for the past few months and now I reach the surface to realize what’s actually there .

I find myself trapped in my own thoughts , wanting clearness and sturcture , I am confused about who I want to be and it makes me feel miserable .

Because I am used to working towards a goal , an exam or  a certain day but when I don’t have a clear aim everything appears to be so uttterly vain . I get comfortable too quick when I’m not scared of failing but then my motivation meets no path.  I simply stand in my own way , as I am used to work only as much as I have to to save my energy.

Currently I am terrified of not knowing who I want to , there is no ambition left to guide me and I miss it so bad . I find myself being so jealous of other people because they seem to have it all figured out.  But I’m hopeful that I will feel better soon.

I have had an amazing year and I learned a lot about this world , these last days I have been thinking to much about life and the past its getting scary .

Here are a few things I have learned :

you shouldn’t have to force anybody into a relationships , wether its friends or lovers . If it’s too one sided and one gives so much but gets nothing it’s not worth fighting for.

always always remember that nothing except change is permanent . If you are in a bad place right now it will change

other people have other priorities . We can’t always understand what others do because we don’t stand in their footsteps . Accept and be accepted.

kindness really matters.  It can bring you so far and it’s free ! So be nice , to your friends your family your classmates your body (especially your body )

Treat yourself, and by that I don’t only mean eat so much junk food you can’t move anymore . So much depends on your body so why don’t you have a glass of water and some fruit and a nice workout and lots of sleep ?

You don’t owe anybody pretty.  Don’t even yourself ! If you want to run around in sweatpants and greasy hair without makeup on do it ! Its your decision and it matters , nobody else’s business

Face your fears even if it seems impossible. Overcoming a fear wont always be like “ I’m going to jump da cliff now “ it might be wearing those jeans even though they trigger a panic attack . Or standing in front of the class day after day with your voice shaking because one day you will get it right !

I could keep talking forever but I need to sleep so I’m ready for tomorrow to kick some ass . What I want to do : EAT NICE AND HEALTHY // STRETCH// GET SWEAT ON // DO A GREYS ANATOMY MARATHON !! AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER 🌏.

I hope you are well 💕



About coping with stress

It’s Tuesday the 24th of November and I am stressed . By what ? By thinking about stress .

For what I have learned  the best way to handle stress is being aware of it . Try to be conscious why you might feel this way right now , is it school , is it family or friends ?   For me right now it is even just thinking about school and all of the things I will have to do . But the stress about thinking about school is making me feel even more uncomfortable overall so I transform this fear in other parts of my life which makes this whole thing even harder . For example : On a stressed and exhausting day the size of my hips might matter more to me than on a relaxed day .

The next step would be to find out what triggers your stress . You might not be able to remove them , but decrease their impact on your day . So now you know you are stressed but what can you change about that ?:

  • clean something , make your bed , sort through your old books ,it always helps me to make things look neat and clean , kind of reflecting how you want your inside to look like
  • brush your teeth or take a shower , wash your face . A clean canvas to work on .
  • drink some water or peppermint tea to hydrate your cells . It will relax you and make you work better .
  • write things down , text a friend , write a blog post about it (duh)
  • know that stress can be useful and motivation in moderate amounts but that you should not be dictated by it on how you want to use and shape your day

My body cope with stress the easy way : sleep and fear .

It is hard for me not to go to sleep straight away when I get scared or stressed by something , my second instinct is to eat , which sometimes leads to overeating , but I think this one I got under control .

Whatever might stress you , I hope you are aware that you can overcome this feeling and things will get better ! Just keep fighting okay? That’s what I am trying to do ..


Much love ❤